We are not Here Alone

SecondSundayafterEpiphanyA, Sullivan Park Care Center, January 19, 2014 by Sr Annette Fricke, OP

            After showing up for and working nine days in a row, I had the privilege of accompanying one of my friends on a couple of pastoral care visits.  My other friend was home with the flu.  My friends are not like me and I must say that there is one way in which they are very different from me: both of them talk out loud in order to process what is going on with them in their lives.  Not all of my friends are like this, but in particular, these two are.  Also, unlike me, they have at least one parent who is still alive.

            In addition, Thursday night, I had the honor of meeting one of the daughters of our residents.  She informed me that she was a daughter I had not met---probably in order to clarify any confusion I might have---and she was a nurse who lived in Portland.  Apparently, the decision was made that she would now take on the Designated Power of Attorney position for her dad.  She wanted to inform us of the change, so as the charge nurse just happened to be in our midst, I said, “This is the person with whom you should speak.”  I related to her and in my own mind, the similarities with my own family and that the POA for my dad was my nurse sister as well. She looked like another friend of mine, a Physician’s Assistant from the cathedral.  We left the unit together; I needed to return a hot pack to the first floor and she was planning to exit from the same floor. As I went down the elevator with her, my thoughts returned to the conversation I had with a resident just prior to her shower.  She had wanted to know where my co-worker was because she promised her that she would be the next one to do her shower.  I tried as best I could to explain that we all had the same schedules, with days we worked and days off.  She, like many on the unit, has difficulty understanding that we are not there every day or when they get up in the morning.

            The point of all this is that we sometimes think we have the big picture of what is going on, but we don’t.  Other times, we really want to know the big picture, but refrain from asking because we might not understand it anyway.  And if we point something out to someone, will they accept our interpretation or adamantly deny our perceptions of their behavior.  How do we break out of our personal and cultural webs in order to be effective members of the body of Christ?  That is really the bottom line of it all.  We are all called to be missionaries in one form or another, yet we also need to be mindful that we all have our specific gifts. We are called to care for each other as Christians as our vocation in life, yet some are clearly not called to be part of a pastoral care team. Is there some point of view or illustration by which we can be enlightened?

            A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’ The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. ‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’ The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.

My niece sent this to me and she asked where in all of this God is?  I responded that God is in and through everything. Some people want nothing to do with the Old Testament because they do not see its relevance to their lives as Christians.  And yet, without the old, we lose perspective on the new.  Just as if we were to discard as irrelevant our own pasts.  We continue to learn from our past, just as we can continue to learn from the Old Testament which was very much a part of how Jesus related to the people during his time in the flesh on earth.

            I find myself torn between the Isaiah text and the gospel lesson for the day.  I don’t think justice is done to the texts without the context in which they were written and the audience for whom they were intended.  However, sometimes, no matter how much us, as preachers, intend to be true to the text and historical context, we do have to take out the culture in which it was written to apply it in some way to today.  The text in John asks a very important question of us, “What are you looking for?”  From a cultural perspective, we also, on some level ask daily, “Who am I?” and “Where am I?”  They are intertwined because identity is always involved in what we are looking for in our lives.  Throughout the gospels, we see that the disciples are frequently in a dissonant chord with Jesus.  I see people like that frequently, even at an advanced age.  I am not talking about dementia.  I felt comfortable with the nurse family member because she fits in with the familiar of the family with which I am a part.  At times, I do not feel comfortable with my own friends. Some people dismiss those with whom they feel uncomfortable.

What can we learn from someone who makes us feel uncomfortable? We can learn that different people have different priorities, different opinions as to how to go about ministry to others, believers, non-believers, the in-betweens and those who follow other religious paths.  Most of all, I think we can learn that none of us have all the definitive answers and we need to listen to each other.  We are not here alone, but united by the God who created us and loved us from the very beginning of time.  We do well to keep in mind with each interaction that we are all children of God, intended to live out the same love God has for us to and with each other.  Amen.