I know that My Redeemer Lives

02242018 Memorial Service for Della Louise Conwell, Moses Lake UMC, by Annette Fricke

            May the words of my mouth and the meditation of our hearts be acceptable in your sight, O God, our rock and our redeemer.  In the book of Job, we read in the nineteenth chapter, “O that my words were written down!  O that they were inscribed in a book!  O that they were engraved on a rock forever!” The still unknown writer of this book is certain that there is wisdom to be shared here.  It is a book that has withstood the test of time, that still has meaning and wisdom today.  All over the world, it remains a source of inspiration for many who find themselves amongst the naysayers, those who think ill of others in various situations.  Friends, even those who are well-meaning, can sometimes rub us the wrong way.  What I have read is the climax of Job’s story, but there’s more.  Allow me to recount the essence of the rest of the book.  The story of Job is that of a non-Jewish man in the Old Testament, before Jesus.  Job, despite not being a part of the Jewish faith, believes in God.  His character has much to teach us, much to teach about loss and ways to deal with it.  Most of what his friends have to say to him are less than appreciated by Job.  His first friend, Eliphaz concludes after consoling Job and reminding him of how well he consoled others insists that Job must have sinned and that is why he is suffering.  Most people today would probably not say something like that to someone’s face although some form of that is sometimes something kept to themselves or talked about behind a person’s back.  Job’s response is to defend himself.  Anyone with integrity would do likewise—at least from Job’s perspective.  The next friend, Bildad demands that Job repent of his sin.  Job sinks more and more into a depressive state and is angry beyond measure.  Job seeks God’s defense.  If that is all he has for friends, only God can defend him.  Zophar, Job’s third friend comes up with a logical conclusion.  If Job is guilty and therefore must repent of his sin, he deserves punishment.  End of story.  There is nothing more to be said.  It is a simple formula that has been handed down through the ages.  Why, Job, doesn’t this work for you?  Why do you question it and why can’t you go along with the wisdom of the generations that came before us?  Job again plays the integrity card saying, “I am a laughingstock to my friends; I, who called upon God and he answered me, a just and blameless man, I am a laughingstock.”  Job has an enormous understanding of God, yet feels the sting of the words his friends have spoken to him.

            Even though Job is probably a fictitious figure in an outdated understanding of sickness and loss, there’s much about Job we can learn.  If you are family or a good friend of Della, you will feel the sting of grief to the degree that you loved her in this life.  Hold onto that.  It will not help to remember any of the negative thoughts you may have had in past interactions or relationships with her.  Let go of those thoughts and leave those where they belong, in the past.  You, who are the children, cherish those happy memories of childhood interactions that maybe only you remember.  Bill, savor the memories of the early days of courtship.  In the days ahead, you, like Job will choose your own way.  Consider carefully how you will deal with this loss.  Will I lash out at others?  That’s a possibility.  Will I be kind to others and accepting of their expressions of condolence?”  I hope you can do that.  To others, do what you can to be supportive, even if it is as little as holding hands and saying nothing.  Your presence is important and a simple, “My condolences,” may also be sufficient.  From this day forward, without Della in your life, go on with your lives, giving thanks for the positive moments that you shared, remembering the good.  Also, among yourselves, do not judge others in their grieving process, because this process is different for everyone.  This loss may affect many.

            But more to the point, “If mortals die, will they live again?”  Job’s answer is a resounding, “Yes.”  Job’s faith is strongly convinced that God, the creator and sustainer of the universe will surely come to his rescue.  Job is sure that there will come a time when his sins, though many, in the end will not count and God will cover his iniquity.  Even though the days and days may go by when in our losses we seem to experience the absence of God, especially when someone we know and love has died, whether or not we are seeking God, God eventually will come to us face to face and most profoundly when we die.  How is it that God could create all that exists and then simply abandon us?  God will never abandon us despite our perceptions of God’s absence.  Job’s author writes strong words of confidence, “I know that my Redeemer lives, and that at the last he will stand upon the earth; and after my skin has been thus destroyed, then in my flesh, I shall see God.”  Pay attention to the important point of that sentence because therein lies the hope and promise to all of God’s children of which you are one.  “I know that my Redeemer lives.”  That will mean more to you the more you allow yourself to believe that it is true.  The more you believe it, the more comfort it will bring you from his day forward in your daily life.  Eternal life is not based on morality, because we have all said and done things of which we ought to be ashamed.  No matter what, God is God of the living.  That is a message that is repeated over and over in the New Testament.  Your confidence, your comfort, and your peace to whatever degree your belief is, is this, “I know that my Redeemer lives.”  There is a place for us beyond this life, for you and for Della.  Your Redeemer lives and so will you.

Journey through the Wilderness

1LentB, February 18, 2018 for St. Martin’s Episcopal Church, Moses Lake, WA by Annette Fricke

40 days is a long time.  It is not 4 weeks or 28 days.  Nor is it a month.  It is more than a month.  Lent is actually 40 days excluding Sundays. It is no accident that the first Sunday in Lent begins with the story of Jesus spending 40 days in the wilderness. Biblically speaking, 40 days does not mean 40 days either.  It means a long time.

Life can feel like 40 days in the wilderness when the journey ahead seems insurmountable.  I have two friends that come to mind when I think of a long time in the wilderness.  One is the sister of a classmate who continues to battle cancer who now is getting surgery for her kidneys.  The other is someone I have never met in person who has decided to change occupational leanings towards Psychology rather than Theology.  I also remember in my prayers the list of people we intentionally pray for each Sunday. We are all wilderness survivors. As I came back from Ritzville to exchange the county vehicle for my own this past Friday, the wind was as strong and cold as it was yesterday.  The tumbleweeds were actively being tossed by the wind every which way onto and out of the fields.  The wind had a way of making them come alive. As I raced from the bottom towards the top of a hill, I saw what looked like the biggest tumbleweed I had ever seen right smack in the middle of the road as though guarding the top of the hill and making it impassable.  It was certainly too big to catch below the undercarriage. My imagination took me far beyond those old western movies, old abandoned towns filled with dust, tumbleweeds, and broken dreams. I think about the hardships that the first settlers faced coming to the land here, then they were real dust bowls, not the fields and irrigation as we see now producing food for many. And I bet the rattlesnakes, coyotes, and wolves were more plentiful.

Before Jesus entered the wilderness with the wild beasts all about, he was baptized and the Spirit descended onto him, like a dove.  It is reminiscent of the story of Noah and the dove, the dove who brings a message of waters receding so that the ark can be put out of commission and never have to be used again to keep him and his family safe.  With Noah and his family, God is somehow looking for a new way to save people, people who are committed to keeping God’s ways.  It won’t be saving us from flooding, or for that matter from fire, or mudslides-- or wind throwing the dust and tumbleweeds around.  God will save us from our self-destructive selves, the selves that think unloving thoughts, the selves that act like wild beasts rather than people enlightened by God’s saving grace.  Some of those beasts meddle in other countries’ governmental business.  Other beasts become so frustrated with their own lives that they take the lives of others. Still, God will strengthen us when we are weak and unable to go it alone.  God knows us, that we struggle every day to live grace-filled lives and to be a blessing to other people, people who struggle as we do. God can help us find solutions to our broken world and broken individual lives.

Notice though, how Mark almost makes it seem that Jesus does not struggle.  He is in the wilderness being temped as we are and yet the focus is that he is with wild beasts and yet the angels wait on him.  It is a picture of harmony, of restoration, similar to when the flood is over and a voice comes from heaven saying, “You are my Son, the Beloved; with you, I am well pleased.”  The Spirit is there and it is the Spirit who sends Jesus out into life on earth with confidence that God will accomplish God’s mission of salvation through him.

As we go through the discipline of Lent, however we choose to do that, we can choose to take a break from the “I wants” and the “I needs” and consider how God has blessed us in this life, how God goes with us and sends angels to help us along our way. God can help us to prioritize our lives and resist the temptation to allow distractions to cloud the way of Jesus.  God can help us step out of our selves to help our neighbors just as Jesus did.  We will continue to have our trials and our troubles, but God can help us through them and strengthen our faith.  God can renew us as we remember the waters of baptism and allow God’s Spirit to take ahold of us, that Spirit who promises us life in God, a life where our renewal comes by daily repentance and forgiveness; where our renewal comes when we gather for Eucharist or the coffee hour where we conversate about our week, without fear of judgement.

God does not leave us in the wilderness to fend for ourselves although at times it may feel that way. God helps us to fend off the wild beasts and the tumbleweeds of this life because compared to the life that God gives each of us for the common good, they are nothing at all.  They are nothing because God is here right now, making things right and restoring us to wholeness.  Jesus has accomplished this on the cross, for us, for everybody.  “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God has come near; repent, and believe in the good news.” God accepts us as we are. God tells us, “You are my sons and my daughters, I am well pleased with you.” This is our proper focus in life. This is good news.  Go and share it with the whole world.