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Saturday, August 09, 2014

When our Faith Falters

Proper14A, Sullivan Park Care Center, August 10, 2014 by Sr Annette Fricke, OP
            The summer, for me, began at the beginning of July when the retired priest, now age 89 is taking his usual two months off before resuming his scheduled return in September.  He is our primary pastoral care provider as well as the pastoral visitor for his former parish. I am only seeing part of the list, so I know it’s long. This year, more than ever, his time off is very valuable.  His wife’s dementia is worsening and if life continues as expected for him, he will soon outlive their approximately 53 year old daughter.  She has pancreatic cancer, the same diagnosis as another even younger member of the congregation who just died yesterday at a hospice house on the South Hill. The task of providing pastoral care is a daunting one, especially for someone who is going through his own walk with grief and loss.  A person in this situation is a prime candidate for both administering excellent care as well as succumbing to the hurt that is within, ever in danger of leaking out at an inopportune moment.  Worst case scenario, this can occur when someone who is really struggling needs you to be strong the most.  No one is immune, if indeed you have any feeling at all for another’s pain in life.  This is why there are spiritual directors and why they also have spiritual directors.  There are certain predicaments in our journeys here on earth, which demand the assistance of others, most of which have an element of emotional pull. To put it bluntly, we are all vulnerable to the temperamental waves of life’s ocean.  Most of us are fearful of climbing out of the safety of the boat, because we fear the force of the wind and the waves.  We may not be aware, as children, but as mature adults, we do know what’s out there, beyond our comfortable seats in the boat. And if we don’t know, it is surely pretty close to our imaginations, based on our past experiences.
            Similarly, the crafting of a particular British television series makes the point of trying to balance one’s stressful work life amid the crises in one’s family.  The murder mystery series is known by the title, ‘Wallander,’ Kurt Wallander being the full name of the key performer.  He plays the part of a detective whose job description is to solve serial murder cases.  He is a devoted policeman who pours himself into his work one hundred percent.  He follows every lead till it is exhausted in pursuit of the truth of the identity of the killer in each case.  His character is that of a man who is absolutely driven by the quest to solve that murder as quickly as possible; a man who sits in a chair at night, unable to sleep, partially because of the alcohol he is convinced will in some way help him think.  “He notices every detail about a crime scene but cannot be bothered to notice when a loved one is suffering.  He is always on the edge of collapse.  The danger is not that he’ll torture or kill a suspect; it’s that his own life is always within an inch of falling apart.  [The] relentless pursuit of justice proves to be a demanding idol.”  He is single-minded and spends every waking moment of his time on duty relentlessly tracking the suspect, determined to heed his demanding desire for justice.[1] 
            Wallander finds himself torn between taking care of his own aging father and at the same time going about solving the murder cases of elderly men.  Further down the story line, he is investigating the murder of several young women while dealing with a conflicting relationship to his own daughter.  The fact of the matter is, like the title of this article in the magazine, Christians are “never off the clock.”  This is how life comes to us in reality.  The boundaries become blurred because at the same time that we are in process of comforting someone in their painful moments, we are going through our own conflicts, our own struggles, and our own monumental strife.  As much as we might like to give as a valid excuse for not being involved in the pastoral care of those around us, that we have our own problems, that simply will not cut it.  There are no credible reasons for not caring.  We are never off the clock because we are not called to compromise our caring for each other as well as the entire world if we indeed have decided to follow Jesus.  It is Jesus who commands us, like he did Peter, to come out of the boat.  Our attitude should be that of Peter’s: “Jesus, is that you?  I want to be where you are.  If that is you, command me to come to you.”
            When you feel God’s absence in your life, when it seems that everything is crashing down around you, when you are feeling totally abandoned, this gospel reading emphasizes that God’s presence is always there.  God is there even when we don’t feel that God is present.  God will do more for us than just be there in our joys and sorrows.  God will defend us and lift us up when our faith falters, just as he lifted Peter when Peter began to sink.  God raises our whole beings to a new level of faith when we become weak, when we unite our lives to Jesus.
            There is just one more thing that God illustrates for us in this gospel text and that is this: the importance of spending time in prayer.  If you follow the timeline, you will notice that it appears that Jesus sent the crowds away in the late afternoon.  We are told that Jesus was alone for most of the night.  He was there praying.  He does not come back to the boat where the disciples are until 4:00 am.  Prayer is our connection with God just as it was for Jesus while he was here on earth.  It is prayer that grounds us for ministry to and with others, allowing us to see that we are truly on equal terms with others.  There is no hierarchy of this or that person being of a higher spiritual plane, because we all have the potential, in our own lives, small as they may seem to the world, to help lift others when they are sinking from the turbulent waves of life.  Let the love of God in Jesus Christ be our sole motivator for our actions towards others.
            As in the words of Julie Hausmann, Lord, take my hand and lead me upon life’s way; direct, protect, and feed me from day to day.  Without your grace and favor I go astray; so take my hand, O Savior, and lead the way.  Lord, when the tempest rages, I need not fear; for you, the Rock of Ages, are always near.  Close by your side abiding, I fear no foe, for when your hand is guiding, in peace I go.  Lord, when the shadows lengthen and night has come, I know that you will strengthen my steps toward home, and nothing can impede me, O blessed Friend!  So, take my hand and lead me unto the end.[2]
            God is indeed there to sustain us to the end: in the midst of all that troubles us, in the ordinariness and in our joyful celebrations.  God never abandons us; and even though at times we sense that perhaps God is absent, help us in faith, to look up to you, Lord Jesus. 



[1] Christian Century, June 11, 2014, p. 42
[2] Lutheran Book of Worship, Hymn #333

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