02242018 Memorial Service for Della
Louise Conwell, Moses Lake UMC, by Annette Fricke
May the
words of my mouth and the meditation of our hearts be acceptable in your sight,
O God, our rock and our redeemer. In the
book of Job, we read in the nineteenth chapter, “O that my words were written
down! O that they were inscribed in a
book! O that they were engraved on a
rock forever!” The still unknown writer of this book is certain that there is
wisdom to be shared here. It is a book
that has withstood the test of time, that still has meaning and wisdom
today. All over the world, it remains a
source of inspiration for many who find themselves amongst the naysayers, those
who think ill of others in various situations.
Friends, even those who are well-meaning, can sometimes rub us the wrong
way. What I have read is the climax of
Job’s story, but there’s more. Allow me
to recount the essence of the rest of the book.
The story of Job is that of a non-Jewish man in the Old Testament,
before Jesus. Job, despite not being a
part of the Jewish faith, believes in God.
His character has much to teach us, much to teach about loss and ways to
deal with it. Most of what his friends
have to say to him are less than appreciated by Job. His first friend, Eliphaz concludes after
consoling Job and reminding him of how well he consoled others insists that Job
must have sinned and that is why he is suffering. Most people today would probably not say
something like that to someone’s face although some form of that is sometimes
something kept to themselves or talked about behind a person’s back. Job’s response is to defend himself. Anyone with integrity would do likewise—at least
from Job’s perspective. The next friend,
Bildad demands that Job repent of his sin.
Job sinks more and more into a depressive state and is angry beyond
measure. Job seeks God’s defense. If that is all he has for friends, only God
can defend him. Zophar, Job’s third friend
comes up with a logical conclusion. If
Job is guilty and therefore must repent of his sin, he deserves punishment. End of story.
There is nothing more to be said.
It is a simple formula that has been handed down through the ages. Why, Job, doesn’t this work for you? Why do you question it and why can’t you go
along with the wisdom of the generations that came before us? Job again plays the integrity card saying, “I
am a laughingstock to my friends; I, who called upon God and he answered me, a
just and blameless man, I am a laughingstock.”
Job has an enormous understanding of God, yet feels the sting of the
words his friends have spoken to him.
Even though
Job is probably a fictitious figure in an outdated understanding of sickness
and loss, there’s much about Job we can learn.
If you are family or a good friend of Della, you will feel the sting of
grief to the degree that you loved her in this life. Hold onto that. It will not help to remember any of the
negative thoughts you may have had in past interactions or relationships with
her. Let go of those thoughts and leave
those where they belong, in the past.
You, who are the children, cherish those happy memories of childhood
interactions that maybe only you remember.
Bill, savor the memories of the early days of courtship. In the days ahead, you, like Job will choose
your own way. Consider carefully how you
will deal with this loss. Will I lash
out at others? That’s a
possibility. Will I be kind to others
and accepting of their expressions of condolence?” I hope you can do that. To others, do what you can to be supportive,
even if it is as little as holding hands and saying nothing. Your presence is important and a simple, “My
condolences,” may also be sufficient.
From this day forward, without Della in your life, go on with your
lives, giving thanks for the positive moments that you shared, remembering the
good. Also, among yourselves, do not
judge others in their grieving process, because this process is different for everyone. This loss may affect many.
But more to
the point, “If mortals die, will they live again?” Job’s answer is a resounding, “Yes.” Job’s faith is strongly convinced that God,
the creator and sustainer of the universe will surely come to his rescue. Job is sure that there will come a time when
his sins, though many, in the end will not count and God will cover his
iniquity. Even though the days and days
may go by when in our losses we seem to experience the absence of God,
especially when someone we know and love has died, whether or not we are
seeking God, God eventually will come to us face to face and most profoundly
when we die. How is it that God could
create all that exists and then simply abandon us? God will never abandon us despite our
perceptions of God’s absence. Job’s
author writes strong words of confidence, “I know that my Redeemer lives, and
that at the last he will stand upon the earth; and after my skin has been thus
destroyed, then in my flesh, I shall see God.”
Pay attention to the important point of that sentence because therein
lies the hope and promise to all of God’s children of which you are one. “I know that my Redeemer lives.” That will mean more to you the more you allow
yourself to believe that it is true. The
more you believe it, the more comfort it will bring you from his day forward in
your daily life. Eternal life is not
based on morality, because we have all said and done things of which we ought
to be ashamed. No matter what, God is
God of the living. That is a message that
is repeated over and over in the New Testament.
Your confidence, your comfort, and your peace to whatever degree your
belief is, is this, “I know that my Redeemer lives.” There is a place for us beyond this life, for
you and for Della. Your Redeemer lives
and so will you.
