10272015 Memorial Service for
Marian V. Taylor, Sullivan Park Care Center, by Annette Fricke
May the
words of my mouth and the meditation of our hearts be acceptable in your sight,
O God, our rock and our redeemer. In the
book of Job, we find these words in the nineteenth chapter, “O that my words
were written down! O that they were
inscribed in a book! O that they were
engraved on a rock forever!” The writer
of this book is certain that there is wisdom to be shared in this book. It is a book that has withstood the test of
time. All over the world, it remains as
a source of inspiration for many who find themselves amongst the naysayers,
those who think ill of others in various situations. This is a chosen text among church leaders
for memorial services. But lest your
mind come to some not well thought out conclusions, what I have read is only
the climax of the book. Let me recount
the essence of the rest of the book. The
story of Job is that of a non-Jewish man in the Old Testament, before
Jesus. Job, despite not being a part of
the Jewish faith, believes in God. This
figure has much to teach us, much to teach about loss and how to deal with
it. Most of what his friends have to say
to him are less than appreciated by Job.
His first friend, Eliphaz concludes after consoling Job and reminding
him of how well he consoled others insists that Job must have sinned and that
is why he is suffering. Most people
today would probably not say something like that to someone’s face although some
form of that is sometimes something kept to themselves or talked about behind a
person’s back. Job’s response is to
defend himself. Anyone with integrity
would do likewise. The next friend,
Bildad demands that Job repent of his sin.
Job sinks more and more into a depressive state and is angry beyond
measure. Job seeks God’s defense. If that is all he has for friends, only God
can defend him. Zophar, God’s third
friend comes up with a logical conclusion.
If Job is guilty and therefore must repent of his sin, he deserves to be
punished. End of story. There is nothing more to be said. It is a simple formula that has been handed
down through the ages. Why, Job, doesn’t
this work for you? Why do you question
it and why can’t you go along with the wisdom of the generations that came
before us? Job again plays the integrity
card saying, “I am a laughingstock to my friends; I, who called upon God and he
answered me, a just and blameless man, I am a laughingstock.” Job has enormous understanding of God, yet
feels the sting of the words his friends have spoken to him. If you are family or good friend to Marian,
you will feel the sting of grief to the degree that you loved her in this
life. Hold onto that. It will not help to remember any of the
negative thoughts you may have about past interactions or relationships. Let go of those thoughts and leave those
where they belong. You, who are the
children, you are now truly orphans. In
the days ahead, you, like Job will choose your own way. Consider carefully how you will deal with
this loss. Will I lash out at
others? That’s a possibility. Will I be kind to others and accepting of
their expressions of condolence? I hope
you can do that. To others, do what you
can to be supportive, even if it is as little as holding hands and saying
nothing. Your presence is important and
a simple, “My condolences,” may also be sufficient. From this day forward, without Marian in your
life, go on with your lives, thankful for the positive moments that you shared,
remembering the good. Also, among yourselves, do not judge others in their
grieving process, because this process is different for everyone. This loss
will affect many, including the nursing staff.
But more to
the point, “If mortals die, will they live again?” Job’s answer is a
resounding, “Yes.” Job’s faith is strongly
convinced that God, the creator and sustainer of the universe will surely come
to his rescue. Job is sure that there
will come a time when his sins, though many, in the end will not count and God
will cover his iniquity. Even though
days and days may go by when we seem to experience the absence of God, whether
or not we are seeking God, God eventually will come to us face to face and most
profoundly when we die. How is it that
God could create all that exists and then simply abandon us? God will never abandon us despite our
perceptions of God’s absence. Job’s
author writes strong words of confidence, “I know that my Redeemer lives, and
that at the last he will stand upon the earth; and after my skin has been thus
destroyed,” yet “then…I shall see God.”
Pay attention to the important point of that sentence because therein
lies the hope and promise to all of God’s children of which you are one. “I know that my Redeemer lives.” That will mean more to you the more you allow
yourself to believe that it is true. The
more you believe it, the more comfort it will bring you in your daily
life. It is not based on morality
because we have all said and done things of which we ought to be ashamed. No matter what, God is God of the
living. That is a message that is
repeated over and over in the New Testament. Your confidence, your comfort, and
your peace to whatever degree your belief is, is this, “I know that my Redeemer
lives.” There is a place for you beyond
this life, for you and for Marian. Your
redeemer lives and so will you. Amen.
