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Monday, October 26, 2015

Confidence, Comfort, and Peace



10272015 Memorial Service for Marian V. Taylor, Sullivan Park Care Center, by Annette Fricke
            May the words of my mouth and the meditation of our hearts be acceptable in your sight, O God, our rock and our redeemer.  In the book of Job, we find these words in the nineteenth chapter, “O that my words were written down!  O that they were inscribed in a book!  O that they were engraved on a rock forever!”  The writer of this book is certain that there is wisdom to be shared in this book.  It is a book that has withstood the test of time.  All over the world, it remains as a source of inspiration for many who find themselves amongst the naysayers, those who think ill of others in various situations.  This is a chosen text among church leaders for memorial services.  But lest your mind come to some not well thought out conclusions, what I have read is only the climax of the book.  Let me recount the essence of the rest of the book.  The story of Job is that of a non-Jewish man in the Old Testament, before Jesus.  Job, despite not being a part of the Jewish faith, believes in God.  This figure has much to teach us, much to teach about loss and how to deal with it.  Most of what his friends have to say to him are less than appreciated by Job.  His first friend, Eliphaz concludes after consoling Job and reminding him of how well he consoled others insists that Job must have sinned and that is why he is suffering.  Most people today would probably not say something like that to someone’s face although some form of that is sometimes something kept to themselves or talked about behind a person’s back.  Job’s response is to defend himself.  Anyone with integrity would do likewise.  The next friend, Bildad demands that Job repent of his sin.  Job sinks more and more into a depressive state and is angry beyond measure.  Job seeks God’s defense.  If that is all he has for friends, only God can defend him.  Zophar, God’s third friend comes up with a logical conclusion.  If Job is guilty and therefore must repent of his sin, he deserves to be punished.  End of story.  There is nothing more to be said.  It is a simple formula that has been handed down through the ages.  Why, Job, doesn’t this work for you?  Why do you question it and why can’t you go along with the wisdom of the generations that came before us?  Job again plays the integrity card saying, “I am a laughingstock to my friends; I, who called upon God and he answered me, a just and blameless man, I am a laughingstock.”  Job has enormous understanding of God, yet feels the sting of the words his friends have spoken to him.  If you are family or good friend to Marian, you will feel the sting of grief to the degree that you loved her in this life.  Hold onto that.  It will not help to remember any of the negative thoughts you may have about past interactions or relationships.  Let go of those thoughts and leave those where they belong.  You, who are the children, you are now truly orphans.  In the days ahead, you, like Job will choose your own way.  Consider carefully how you will deal with this loss.  Will I lash out at others?  That’s a possibility.  Will I be kind to others and accepting of their expressions of condolence?  I hope you can do that.  To others, do what you can to be supportive, even if it is as little as holding hands and saying nothing.  Your presence is important and a simple, “My condolences,” may also be sufficient.  From this day forward, without Marian in your life, go on with your lives, thankful for the positive moments that you shared, remembering the good. Also, among yourselves, do not judge others in their grieving process, because this process is different for everyone. This loss will affect many, including the nursing staff.
            But more to the point, “If mortals die, will they live again?” Job’s answer is a resounding, “Yes.”  Job’s faith is strongly convinced that God, the creator and sustainer of the universe will surely come to his rescue.  Job is sure that there will come a time when his sins, though many, in the end will not count and God will cover his iniquity.  Even though days and days may go by when we seem to experience the absence of God, whether or not we are seeking God, God eventually will come to us face to face and most profoundly when we die.  How is it that God could create all that exists and then simply abandon us?  God will never abandon us despite our perceptions of God’s absence.  Job’s author writes strong words of confidence, “I know that my Redeemer lives, and that at the last he will stand upon the earth; and after my skin has been thus destroyed,” yet “then…I shall see God.”  Pay attention to the important point of that sentence because therein lies the hope and promise to all of God’s children of which you are one.  “I know that my Redeemer lives.”  That will mean more to you the more you allow yourself to believe that it is true.  The more you believe it, the more comfort it will bring you in your daily life.  It is not based on morality because we have all said and done things of which we ought to be ashamed.  No matter what, God is God of the living.  That is a message that is repeated over and over in the New Testament. Your confidence, your comfort, and your peace to whatever degree your belief is, is this, “I know that my Redeemer lives.”  There is a place for you beyond this life, for you and for Marian.  Your redeemer lives and so will you. Amen.

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