An Atmosphere of Peace

Proper21BPentecost18, September 27, 2015, Sullivan Park Care Center by Annette Fricke

            I imagine that Jesus had a lot of disappointing moments with the disciples.  Here they are again when they come back from a mission trip, not gleefully rejoicing that people are out doing works in Jesus’ name, but trying to stop them because they were not following Jesus in the same manner that they thought they should.  Critics abound wherever we go.  This isn’t right and that isn’t right.  This shouldn’t be what it is.  You see this behavior inside churches and outside them.  Some people have a more open view of people whose opinions are different from theirs and others would have us fit in their boxed in idea of doing it right.  I took five days off from work and during those five days, I was asked to come in to work on two different days.  Some people do not like the fact that the vacation list isn’t even consulted.  I have stated many times over that I preach every other month and cannot come in for a day shift on those Sundays.  The second day I was asked to come in the message left on my phone indicated that someone was needed to stay till after dinner until “things settled down.”  What that meant was still left for me to discover.  I returned to work Wednesday to find out that the state was there to address complaints, three of them about the floor I work on.  In addition to that, aides from the Atrium were to work with us until they were certified.  They had failed to meet the deadline of transitioning from registered nursing assistant to certified nursing assistant within 120 days because they were unable to schedule taking the written and skills tests required for state certification.  At least three of my co-workers were now working in the Atrium.  The issue on our assisted living floors that came up in conversation Thursday night was that of kitchen servers and nursing assistants.  Who is to serve food and who is to cover the floor and what happens when residents call during meals?  What needs to happen is, like any other similar level of care facility, the state needs to be satisfied that all is done according to the specifications dictated by the laws and regulations concerning assisted living.  In skilled nursing, the aides have to be certified before they are able to work there.  That’s how they get sent to us and us to them.  Requirements must be met or there will be demands for change and/or consequences.  When I first worked as an aide, there was no such thing as assisted living and if one of our patients who had MS wanted to get up into his chair, an announcement was made over the loudspeaker, “All aides to room such and such!”  That meant all of us would go to the first room on the 100 wing, three on each side and lift him into his chair.  For those who didn’t have control of their bladders at night, we used a rubber draw sheet that we put in the middle of the bed, covered by a slightly larger sturdy piece of cloth, and a folded up softer absorbent sheet to go between the legs.  A temperature was never taken on the forehead or in the ear, but was either orally or rectally. What was state of the art care then is now deemed substandard and probably obsolete.

            Today, the care of residents boils down to two items: Standards and Rights.  We have established standards to follow which include when the meals are served on the floor, how much is served and by whom.  Rights include the right to refuse any of the standards set forth by the provider in the facility.  There is now also a classification known as a boarding home.  Each level of care has its own set of rules and regulations.  The state investigates complaints made about the staff. The state determines corrections to be made and whether or not to renew the license to operate.  Not every facility has to be identical in its performance of care, but every facility must meet the requirements of the state.  Facilities who failed to correct deficiencies can and have been closed down. There is frequent tension between safety measures and resident rights.  Determining the best course is a challenge.  There are many “What if” scenarios. The process of what is safe, what is not abusive or restraining, being overly demanding, the best treatment options for the medical condition of each resident is ever evolving. The dignity of each resident is preserved as much as possible.  Although many residents become childlike in their thinking and understanding as they age, they are never to be treated as though they are children.  And although many have similar diagnoses, their individual personalities remain unique.  Even with declining mental functioning, each resident should be offered activities so that they feel that they are just as much a part of the community as anyone else.  They should also be given the opportunity to participate as much as possible in the cooperation of care of their bodies received from the aides.  The community here, and in other facilities in Washington State, functions in similar fashion.  The standards and rights are designed to balance the relationship between the treatment team and the resident.  In treating the resident fairly, the relationship between staff and resident moves towards equality and inclusivity.

            As communities, both residential facilities like this one and churches have something in common.  At each juncture when someone new comes into the community or visits before accepting residency, we need to ask ourselves the question, “How do I welcome the stranger, the newcomer?”  “How will I make this person feel welcome and accepted?”  “What behaviors will I find difficult to accept and where will I draw the line?”  Each community has certain values that are expressed by its members.  I used to teach my staff to not only look for new staff members by whether or not they would be competent to perform their jobs but how their personalities would fit with the personalities already on staff.  Personalities have to work well enough together to be able to work as a team.  Team members need to be flexible to be able to learn new ideas and open to implementing them.  If you are part of the community, it is imperative to operating as part of that community to help build it up and grow it towards maturity. What can we do to preserve and enhance our community?  How can we maintain that tension between core values and improving the residential atmosphere? 

            As we converse with each other on an equal playing field and learn to respect those who have differing opinions, our conversations should lead us to changes that will be beneficial to growth.  We can respond in different ways than previously.  We can accept ideas both great and small and see where they lead.  Most of all we need to always be aware of whether our actions are ones of peace, loving relationships, and forgiveness.   Everything we say and do, according to this text should strive to create an atmosphere of peace.  We should abhor violence and anything that keeps us far from peace.  Our interactions with others should be from a position of compassion even when we disagree with others’ words and actions.  We need to really listen closely to others.  Our strength should never smother another’s weakness.  Like a dimly burning wick, we should shield from wind and provide oxygen.  We should feed and nourish our relationships so they thrive and those who come from the outside will feel welcome.

Jesus Sits Down

Proper20BPentecost17, Sullivan Park Care Center, September 20, 2015 by Annette Fricke

            In this particular passage in the Gospel according to Mark, Jesus is with his disciples, alone and away from the crowds.  The location stated is only that they had passed through Galilee.  Here comes the second prediction of Jesus’ death.  The response is simply that they did not understand what he was saying and were afraid to ask him.  His disciples have been with Jesus long enough to understand that what they do hear and what they do understand about this is that it scares them.  It scares them to the point that they are surely wondering to themselves, “What is Jesus up to now?”  Yes, they have certainly noticed that Jesus seems to be teaching his own take of the previous prophecies and teachings of Judaism.  But at some point, won’t our way of thinking be vindicated?  Won’t Jesus’ kingdom come here on earth?  Just how will this all pan out? Doesn’t that prayer he taught us imply the coming of God’s reign here on earth?  A part of us really wants to know what Jesus is all about and the other part doesn’t.  Where will Jesus teachings really lead us if we follow his core teaching, you know, that stuff about love and grace and being a servant of others and all?

            Everything is fine with us when we are on top of it all, when we are in control or in charge.  We watch with anticipation as people, who are a part of this nation, participate in the preliminary debates to see who will be chosen to represent the best candidate for president.  The two major political parties of Democrat and Republican will choose who they think would make the best president and carry on the ideals of each ones party.  It’s a gross oversimplification, but basically the Republicans would like to advance free enterprise and Democrats want to see government run programs.  The country is always divided as seen in the fact that we have historically had presidents from both parties.  The process of debate over the current issues will keep going for several months, because even after a candidate and running mate are chosen, the actual election won’t happen till next year and inauguration the January after that.  But as I said last Sunday, the process is not as important as the context.

            The disciples lived in a world of religious divisions and political conflict.  The disciples really thought that they would be in places of power in Jesus’ kingdom and they would be the stronghold that would overturn the oppressive Roman government. In the context of Jesus’ telling them that he would suffer and die and be betrayed, the disciples were discussing who was the greatest among them. Unlike last Sunday’s text, this one uses the word, ‘betrayal.’  The disciples clearly do not understand what Jesus is saying to them.  They likely thought that Jesus meant that he would be betrayed by someone other than the disciples.  After all, they were the faithful followers.  They would never follow him with the attitude of “what’s in it for me”, --or would they?  And when the going got too rough, surely they would not betray their master.  However, Jesus does not address the betrayal aspect of the disciples just yet.  He picks up on the “what’s in it for me” of their natural and cultural leanings.

            Those who have studied courses beyond the bachelor’s level of Psychology know about behavioral therapy.  The basic premise if behavioral therapy is this: a person is motivated to certain behaviors dependent upon reward.  If the reward for an addiction is greater than to be without that addiction, that addiction will continue unabated.  It is a simple theory, but one that has held for a very long time.  In a substitution method, there has to be an adequate substitute for the addiction in order for the addiction to become extinct.  In other words, the cultural power and status usually wins out in our society because it is tied to security.  If I am in charge, my needs will always be met.  On the other hand, it is a denial that we are always living in a secure world.  One of my teachers used to always tell us in high school that there are only two certainties in life: death and taxes.  The problem is that the disciples thought that they had security in following Jesus, but found out in fact, that following Jesus was actually following a path of insecurity.  The waters of life will never be clear except for brief moments when it really does seem, by God’s grace that we are following Jesus and where Jesus would want us to be.  Our lives are like that of the first disciples.  They are full of passion, fear, conflict, and misunderstanding.  Most of the time, we travel through life as though we’re deaf, blind, and mute.  The “seeing through a glass darkly” that St. Paul mentions is a very accurate picture of what life on earth is like.  We partake in the sacrament of the bread and wine, the Lord’s Supper, because we believe that is probably as close as we will get to being able to see or touch Jesus. Again, if we look as through a magnifying glass, we see the sacrament in the words placed before us in the passion predictions as well as our response that we make almost on a daily basis.  Just like the disciples of Jesus day, we stumble in the dark, looking desperately for illumination and guidance.  Where Jesus, do you want me to be? And please assure me that I am headed down the best path towards you.

            Jesus asks the disciples, “What are you arguing about?”  They are embarrassed and are silent.  They know that if they are honest and tell Jesus what’s really on their minds that Jesus will be disappointed in them.  Jesus sits down.  This is significant, when a rabbi sits down, the purpose is to teach.  This is a teaching moment for the disciples.  What is Jesus talking about when he says that whoever wants to be first must be last of all and servant of all?  In Jesus’ day, children were the property of their parents until that day when they married or were given in marriage.  A marriage was by arrangement of the parents.  Children were the lowest status of the society.  They are not in a position to earn anything, but are on the receiving end of things.  You are given what is needed by your parents.  You are like a slave and your place is to serve others. God’s children are supplied with all that is needed for life. As the children of God, we are the recipients of God’s grace and love.  We receive the word of God in the scriptures.  We receive in baptism and Holy Communion.  We receive in confession the forgiveness of our sins and salvation.  The love of God is freely given without discrimination to and for all.  Ours is the task to incorporate God’s love and grace in our lives.  In the words of St Ignatius of Loyola: Take Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess. Thou hast given all to me. To Thee, O Lord, I return it. All is Thine, dispose of it wholly according to Thy will. Give me Thy love and Thy grace, for this is sufficient for me. - See more at: http://www.ignatianspirituality.com/ignatian-prayer/prayers-by-st-ignatius-and-others/suscipe-the-radical-prayer#sthash.GH33f0BM.dpuf

Common Humanity

Proper19BPentecost16, Sullivan Park Care Center, September 13, 2015 by Annette Fricke

            When people sell real estate, a very common selling point for property is the location of what’s being sold.  The joke associated with that is that when someone believes something that makes them look incredibly naïve is this question, “Yes, and if you believe that, I’ve got some swamp land in Florida I’d like to sell you…”  Actually, if you want a place for alligator hunting, swamp land is a smart way to go.  It’s not just location that is important, but context.  For most people, buying swamp land is stupid because houses, gardens, and fields will never thrive there.  Whenever a person tells a story, the context is what makes the story a story.  Without it, there is no meaning to the narrative.  On September 11, just fourteen years ago, our nation was attacked by terrorists by flying planes through the world trade center towers in New York City.  The topic of conversation is bound at some point to recite where you were when that happened.  People tell you where they were and what they were doing and your response is to do likewise.  The same goes for other huge events in history, the first of which in my memory was the shooting of President Kennedy.  My mother didn’t think I was well that day, so I stayed home.  I saw it on TV and ran to tell Mom who didn’t believe me.  I wasn’t known for telling lies so I guess my credibility was in question due to my being only six years of age.  At any rate, because of the enormity of the situation, I remember the details probably as well as where I was on 9-11 even though JFK was shot and killed almost fifty-two years ago.  We tend to remember much if the extreme of violence is involved and the security of our nation is compromised.  We won’t forget because we remember as a community and the darned TV keeps running the footage over and over.  Just as sorrow and anger are heightened in events like this, I’ll bet the same detailed recall occurred for the disciples of Jesus when Jesus asked them, “Who do people say that I am?”  It’s a type of test and the anxiety is through the roof.  What do we tell Jesus is the answer?  Why is he asking this question at this time in this place?  What’s he trying to find out?  But what is most on the disciples’ minds is: is he then going to ask us a related question, who we think he is? After those queries follows the first prediction of Jesus’ suffering on the cross and resurrection.  Peter dares to think the burning question, “Why does Jesus have to suffer and die on the cross?”  Perhaps like Peter, it feels like someone took away our best friend just as we were getting to know him.  Jesus’ life was cut short at a very young age, so was JFK’s and so were the lives of the victims of 9-11.  It is a cruel lesson about reality that even children can comprehend.  We feel the way we do because even if we don’t know these people personally, we do know them because they are our fellow human beings with blood coursing  through their veins, skin that tears and bruises,  muscles, sinews, and bones.  Every year, it is the tradition at Trinity Lutheran Church in Tacoma, WA to have an alto and a tenor on Good Friday sing the hymn, “Were You There” when they crucified my Lord?  The hymn goes into the structure of details of Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection for the sole purpose of evoking a sense of common humanity. It constantly re-asks the question, “Were you there?” in order to bring into the immediate present our shared kinship. This is what we feel even more painfully when someone we lived with and loved a great deal has died, leaving us behind.  Someone years ago saw the meditation on the passion of Jesus as being an especially effective subject bringing both substance and depth to a meditation process in order to feel closer to God. God is most fully in the passion narratives.  This is where God dwells most profoundly.  God dwells most profoundly here in suffering and death because it is where all of us have been if we have lived our lives as human beings.  Even if we somehow manage to escape suffering, we know those who suffer and all of us will inevitably see death.  That is the way of humanity.  Were you there?  Do you claim your connection with that person or persons?  Do you feel the agony of a love relationship being torn to its very core?  That, in my estimation is why Peter objected.  He’s practically saying out loud, “Why Jesus, do you too have to leave us and why must you suffer and die before salvation is accomplished?  Is there really no other way?  No, Jesus; I cannot bear the grief.” 

            Again, take note of the context.  First there is the question, “Who do people say that I am?”  Then, “Who do you say that I am?” and then, “I must suffer and die.  Next comes resurrection but in the context of suffering and death, it doesn’t seem like such a joyous occasion.  And then comes the climax, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”  Alas, the climax is not the resurrection and eternal life. Jesus tries to explain just a bit of what that entails.  This is the first time he talks about this, so the sordid details are missing.  But what it all boils down to is that our life, if we truly follow him as his disciples will resemble his.  In our deepest, darkest days ---and I believe we all have them, we feel a profound absence, a sort of haunting anxiety and sadness like our whole world has collapsed. The party is over.  The great celebratory feasting of the wedding is over.  The guests have gone home and it is 75+ years later.  Now what? We’re disappointed in life.  We listen to the promises of the political campaigns and sink into cynicism.  We’re going through that whole process again of electing a new president to run the country.  The more we are informed of how things really work or seem to work, the more we cry out for deliverance.  Is there no other way?  We don’t really want Jesus to resemble us because we don’t want to think about God in any way being weak.  We want to paint God as a super hero and to set everything right.  But what Jesus is trying over and over to tell the disciples is that God is not like that.  “Who do people say that I am?” is a question that needs to always also be turned around for self-reflection and self-examination.  Who do you and I say Jesus is and how do I live that out in my life; my poor, small, minuscule niche in life about as important as a baby ant in a very large ant hill?  Who am I among billions of people around the world?  What is this world compared to the vast universe and beyond into outer space?  Why does God consider humanity worth saving at all?  Why is God so big yet I feel so small?  Why must God suffer the same fate as I? Who is this God who sees and feels what I see and feel and yet appears to also see, feel, and perceive way beyond my most brilliant imaginations?

            It has been posed that perception is reality.  If that’s the case, that is how God can never be put into the box we so desperately want God in because that’s where we positively know where God is.  God is not in the box our minds draw but as Paul Tillich has said and written, God is as near as our breath, even in our most profound moments of emptiness when we feel God not.

Passion and Persistence

Proper18BPentecost15, September 6, 2015, Sullivan Park Care Center, by Annette Fricke

            My co-workers and I have recently made it a habit to go out with each other more frequently.  I, being the second oldest aid of our employer, sometimes can feel a bit awkward.  What do I have in common with people who are actually young enough to be my grandchildren?  Well, we are all human and our group is only inclusive of the women co-worker aides.  As a once practicing mental health counselor, I sometimes do more watching than taking action.  I am sometimes caught in that paralysis of not knowing what to do to resolve some of the injustices I see around me and so I sit and wait things out.  One of my best friends is a bit younger than I and is Buddhist.  Despite our differing beliefs, we have much in common. Some of our common ground is a result of having lived on the other side of the state. I am going through a process of grieving right now because she told me that she has been accepted into nursing school at Mt. Hood.  Yes, that means she’s moving to Oregon. She is very kind and caring and treats me on an equal basis, as equal as it can be with our age differences.  I will miss her.

            The two healing stories in our gospel text have similarities.  The most glaring of the similarities is that they both take place in non-Jew territories.  These are places where Jews are not welcome and in fact, are rather despised and treated with contempt.  Perhaps the harsh words of Jesus to this woman from the region of Tyre are a reflection of the political imbalance of the wealthy Gentiles and Jewish peasants there.  Beyond that, Jesus was likely aware of the economic hardship that many Jews in that region experienced due to the exploits of the Gentile landowners. We should be asking why Jesus is there at all if he indeed sees his priority as the house of Israel.  Indeed, the Gospel of Mark gives us a vision of the outstretching of God’s kingdom to be that which extends beyond the reaches of the folks of Judaism.  Obviously, one of the major points of the reading is that we are to go beyond our own little villages or social groupings of people in our quest to extend the mercy of God. But note also that this text has nothing to do with converting anyone by means of God directly, nor of our evangelization in God’s name.  Pure and simple, this is about showing mercy to all people. It has nothing to do with imposing values or judgments on someone else.  It doesn’t mean that a person should not issue a marriage license because she does not think that gay men should get married.  It does not mean that if I am a Quaker and believe in pacifism that I will not issue you a permit to have a gun to defend your house and property.  Jesus did not ask her, as far as we know, what she believed in.  He met her at her need and healed her daughter.  We don’t know what happened after that.  We have no “Gospel according to the Syrophoenician Woman.” Perhaps we should; perhaps she would tell us how Jesus paid attention to even her, one who had a sick child among many sick children of the day.

            This woman was not going to just stand by and watch her daughter continue to suffer.  She was passionate.  She knew Jesus was a healer and she was determined to get healing for her daughter.  She knew Jesus had that which she most desperately desired more than anything.  She was prepared to do what it took to get it. Some of us will watch someone like that and say to ourselves, “What a stubborn fool,” but maybe that’s what’s lacking in us at times.  At times, we just give up and become lackadaisical, paralyzed into inaction.  Will God bring healing if we never ask for it or if we always pray meekly, “thy will be done?”  Is it not a step better to even demand that God hear our pleas for mercy?

            Lastly, it is important to notice that the mother pleads for the daughter and the deaf man is brought to Jesus by his friends.  Community is important.  God does not expect us to be the lone rangers and to conduct our prayer life and spirituality as though it’s just between God and me.  Many of my preacher friends have nixed the idea of worship services other than Sunday because there just is no interest in attendance.  Two services outside the regular service on Sunday are offered where I attend when I’m not here, but only a few regulars attend. Some will say things like, “I attended the Saturday service” meaning that they saw no need to be there Sunday morning as though fulfilling an obligation rather than a voluntary fellowship gathering. The prevailing cultural attitude that people can be spiritual on their own has spilled out onto the Church.  I see the same thing happen at work.  We have these forms in order to lodge a complaint or give a compliment.  Nobody wants to fill them out, but will complain about similar things as others.  Everyone sees it as a personal choice.  Nothing is done as a community and those who would seek change, even demand change don’t. The topic of conversation gets changed instead.  Even the James text dictates we go beyond talk to action.  Isn’t that really the essence of the lessons for today?

            Despite my being a reluctant nursing assistant, part of me is proud to be part of the nursing profession although as a candy striper at age 15 you would never hear those words out of my mouth.  The nursing profession is all about healing and trying to find the best way to care for the mental and physical needs of patients or residents, depending on the setting in which they are located. Modern day medicine is only a small part of the healing which is attributed to Jesus.  If we are to look more carefully into the gospel passage, we will find that the imagery of the crumbs which fall from the children’s table is a quite comprehensive picture of the enormity and generosity of God’s love for all humanity.  God’s love or mercy is like a table on which the children eat.  As with both children and some older adults I know, crumbs fall to the floor.  It is common for the family dog to scarf them up so that they disappear from sight.  They are fed from simple scraps just as pigs are given the leftover food the children don’t eat.  God’s mercy and healing is not just for the few, but for the many because God’s children are not just those we most love and admire, but also those who live on the fringes of society and the edges of what we might term unacceptable dress or behavior.  Not only do we put God in a box, but people as well.  We want both God and people to conform to our sense of what’s right and what’s wrong.  We want to be able to control things even though we know that the world is in a state of constant flux and the only constant is change.  We don’t like entertaining the notion that someone else has an idea that might be just as good as ours.  Jesus commends the woman not so much for her belief as for her passion and persistence.  She has a good argument.  She is asserting herself with logic.  Sometimes the smartest people in our midst are those without a formal education.  We are not called to simply repeat what others tell us.  We are to follow our hearts, passionately seeking---no demanding that those in our midst receive healing, remembering that we are all in this together.