The Family of God

4LentC, Sullivan Park Care Center, March 10, 2013

The parable of the prodigal son, I am quite sure, has been one of the most preached and discussed parables in the entire New Testament. You can tell it from the perspective of the younger son who left the household or you can tell it from the perspective of the insanely jealous older son who always did right and worked hard. But there is still another way to look at it.  The parable is about the family of God.  We are all God’s children and it is up to us to figure out how to all get along.  Some of us quit for a while, and then come back; some of us remain faithful to God and the kingdom.  Some of us don’t understand how the mercy of God can extend to everyone. We see it as certain people should be punished and we are angry if they aren’t, right? All of those sentiments are expressed in this parable. Kyle Franklin in Spokane’s Faith and Values writes, “These last six months or so have been extremely difficult. I moved three times, left my job (and accepted a position with fewer hours and a massive cut in pay), and went through an extremely difficult breakup. In the midst of those things I went on medication to stabilize my mood because I felt like I was living on a roller coaster. And, most recently, I encountered unemployment — 10 weeks so far.
During this time, I basically ceased contact with some of my long-term friends simply because I could not write home with good news. I was nervous about the idea of calling and telling them that life seemed to be falling apart with no hope of restoration in sight. This was especially true with friends who entrusted me to follow through on a commitment I made to them. And, while I recognize that my closest friends and family will not be scared off even in the worst of times, my human nature (and the subsequent tendency to believe that others will give up on me when times are tough) tells me that it is better to hide my “flaws” and put on a façade that all is well.
As people with varying degrees of faith and notions of God, I think that we sometimes have this tendency in approaching God. We want to have it all together and try to fool God — whatever form God takes in our lives — into believing that we have it all together. The truth, though, is that God recognizes that we are in need of healing, whether we make that clear or not. And beyond openness with God, our own communities — friends, family and even strangers — can fill in our blanks and help us through difficult times.
The key is to be honest and recognize that at different times in life we are going to be a burden or a blessing. And at other times in life our friends and family will seem to be a burden or a blessing. But the notion that we remain in healthy community — sometimes falling into the safety net and other times being the safety net — is what makes us fully human.
Life is hard sometimes for each of us. But we are not alone. And I believe we were not meant to be alone. We need each other. We need to be brutally honest and vulnerable. But we also need to be brutally open to sharing the burdens of others.”

            I believe that this is one of the best summations of what the story of the prodigal son is all about.  The only difference is that this story is something that does not happen from an intentional falling away as we see in our gospel text.  But does that detail really matter?  Falling away, intentional or not, do any of us really in any sense of the idea want to be a burden to anyone, especially to those we feel closest to?  Whenever I have needed monetary or physical help to accomplish something important in my life, my inclination was that of guilt and wanting to pay them back, to be even again, to make up somehow for not being as independent as most of the time I claim to be.  From day one, the idea was beaten into me by my older siblings that I should not be a burden to my parents.  Later in life, I applied that to all my interactions. It is also known as the Protestant work ethic, “pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.”  Many people seem to still think that if we just follow this simple principal, all will be well economically in this country. And some take it even further and think that everyone is capable of working and therefore there is no need whatsoever for a welfare system.  Intentionally or not, making mistakes by not calculating the risks or becoming a victim of the changes in society, we really do need each other and it behooves us to learn and practice this lesson.  The more I think about the story of the prodigal son, the more I see it this way.  It is not a story simply about the younger son, nor is it a story about the older son who is extremely jealous of all the attention the younger son is getting for acting a fool.  It is a story about community.  All of the characters of this story have a role to play and that role is to learn how to live with each other’s faults, despite the reasons for ones words and actions. Learning how to get along with others and actually have relationships with others and maintain my sense of integrity and dignity has been a lifelong struggle.  Will I ever get it right or will this always be my source of consternation.  Most of the day on Thursday, I was in a rather subdued and contemplative mood.  Do I really want to join the order?  Do they really want me?  Or have I been such an incorrigible jerk to my fellow postulants that they don’t want me anyway?  And perhaps my sense of wanting to hold on to what I see as integrity and dignity should not even be of concern to me.  As I sat and thought about the story of Jonah which was the topic at our Lenten meditation Wednesday night, it once again came back to me: God is far more merciful and inclusive than we are.  We criticize, we get mad, we argue and fight and disagree and draw lines---not always, but enough that I wonder why we don’t hold back more and let things take their course and see if it doesn’t turn out OK anyway.  My very best friends could not see themselves joining an order, but allow that maybe that is the way for me.  For them, I am truly thankful.  For me, joining the order is about community, but I am hoping that if I mess up as badly as the younger son and want to come back, that I will be welcomed because that, to me, is the gospel. God is a heck of a lot more inclusive and merciful than we are. God is merciful—full of mercy-- and hopes that we too, will show mercy to others. Showing mercy is very hard to do when we feel deeply offended. I think that is our greatest challenge.  Sometimes it is better to just hold the tongue. Sometimes we need to say, “I’m sorry.  I will try to do better next time.  I will try to listen to someone else’s perspective.  I will try to be more compassionate. Forgive me.” rather than simply trying to defend ones position. But in the heat of the moment, when emotions run high, it can be hard to do what needs to be done to make things right again.  What the father did in the parable by throwing a party for the younger son was allowing him to be a part of the household once again, the inner fellowship, similar to the disciples closest to Jesus.  The older son is more interested in justice, not forgiveness and thus we see the potential for conflict and thus we see how the tendency is to judge in human terms.  The older son is saying loud and clear, “Not fair!  Not fair!” But from God’s perspective, mercy and forgiveness is fair, because from God’s perspective, every situation is on unequal grounds.  Despite what we do and say, our instinct remains to protect ourselves and defend ourselves because we think that is only right.  It’s not about integrity or dignity.  It’s about mercy. God shows us mercy; therefore, we ought also to show mercy.

            Kyle Franklin puts it this way, “In all our actions, we must consider both our own stories and the stories of those around us.  It is when we fail to consider others that we become self-centered and unable to function in relationship or community.” That is the only way we can live in God’s mercy; knowing that God must be mercy.